What is Communication?

            We deal with communications with others daily; family members, professionals, strangers, children, etc.  We can have pleasant experiences with these individuals, or they can be highly unpleasant.   I believe that someone who is able to communicate effectively speaks clearly and slowly; giving them the opportunity to think about what they are going to say and the effects their statements may have on those they are speaking with.  In addition, good communicators are not only good speakers, but good listeners; they focus on what the other person has to say as well and responds to their point of view in a manner that is honest and respectful.  Lastly, I feel that good communication has a great deal to do with tone and body language.  A person with good communication skills will not allow their personal biases and opinions to show through their tone and mannerisms; they will be hyperaware of how they react to statements.

I have many people in my life with the ability to communicate effectively.  However, the person that sticks out the most in my mind is my father.  Although my father and I may not always see eye to eye, I never feel as though my opinion is unheard when speaking with him.  He takes the time to listen to what others are saying and is careful with his expression when he is in a discussion.  He does not roll his eyes or interrupt.  In addition, when he is in disagreement with someone, he always is respectful with his rebuttal.  He never diminishes another person’s perspective or tells them that they are “wrong.”  He will simply state that he disagrees and always offers support for his opinion, which I also believe is a characteristic of good communication skills.

I worked for my father for several years and have never really seen him lose his temper.  He was the manager of a hardware store/lumberyard and often worked with impatient contractors.  I remember watching my father deal with a screaming contractor one day and marveling at his ability to keep his cool.  He was patient and did not react to the irrational behavior of the contractor.  In addition, he responded with agreeable solutions to the problem the contractor was having and did not engage in the yelling.  I was so impressed with my father that day. 

I would like to model my own communication behaviors after my father.  I often think about how my dad would react when I’m in a stressful situation at work. I also enjoy talking with him when I’m having a hard time.  He has a very calm demeanor and is able to help me relax and see a different perspective if I’m being irrational, without making me feel “stupid” or “crazy” for my reactions.  In addition, my father is not forceful with his opinions and does not state them when he is not asked.  Therefore, when he says something, people are more prone to listen and take in what he has to say.  I would love to be an effective communicator like my father.