Myself as a Communicator

This week I evaluated my communication skills.  I also had two others evaluate me; a close friend and one of my students.  My self-evaluation did not surprise me at all.  I am a people-oriented listener; I'm considerate of other's feelings and often allow such empathy to cloud my judgement.  I display moderate verbal aggression; I do not particularly enjoy confrontation, but will try to pursuade others with the facts instead of attacking their character.  I don't experience a great deal of anxiety when communicating; I enjoy speaking in public and teaching, and can debate confidently when I'm comfortable with the information. 

The fact that my close friend's evaluations of me were nearly identical to my own was comforting.  I am happy that the way I perceive myself is the same way in which I project my communication skills on others.  However, my student's evaluation had one result that truly surprised me.  Instead of being seen as a people-oriented listener, he felt that I am time-oriented.  He told me that I often get caught up with all of the demands of my students and have limited time and attention.  This surprised me because I try so hard to make myself available for my students; for academic assistance and counseling.

I now realize that others view our communications differently in various settings.  When I am in my classroom, I am responsible for twenty-five 16-25 year old students, many of which fight me as their teacher and authority figure.  In addition, I have mountains of paperwork and many different co-workers to interact with, and who call my room throughout the day.  I'm always so busy that I sometimes forget what I'm actually there for.  I never thought that I'd neglected my student's needs.  As a professional, in any educational setting, it is necessary that we make our students and their families feel important and that our time belongs to them.  I'm so happy that my student was honest and helped me gain this insight into my communication skils.  I hope it will assist me in becoming a more effective communicator in both my personal and professional life.

Another insight I have gained is that I don't need to be more verbally aggressive.  I've often been told that I'm "too nice" to people, and therefore I get walked all over.  Friends, professional peers, family members, and students have told me that I need to be more assertive.  However, according to the evaluations, I have a good balance in verbal aggression; I need to be less trusting of those I communicate with.  I feel that this will affect my life, both personal and professional, in a positive way.  It would be beneficial to listen more objectively, rather than to trust whole-heartedly.  I plan to share these evaluations with others in my life.  I feel that it's important to understand how we are perceived as communicators in order to become more effective. 

References:

Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

• “Communication Anxiety Inventory”
• “Verbal Aggressiveness Scale”

Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Graham, E. E., Perse, E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures II: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

• “Listening Styles Profile-16