Observing Communication

I was in the mall the other day, when I came across three young girls with a child who was approximately one and a half years old; possibly two.  The three girls appeared to be in their late teens or early twenties and one of them was clearly the mother.  They were walking and talking and the young boy was running in front of them.  He was jabbering away to them, but they didn’t seem to be paying much attention to what he was saying and continued in their own conversation.  As the girls were walking behind him, the little boy ran directly into a glass door and fell backwards.  The mother ran to pick him up.  She was laughing and talking to her friends; “I can’t believe he just did that!”  One asked if he was okay and she checked his head and responded that she believed he was fine.  The mother kept exclaiming that she “couldn’t believe he did that!”  Not once was the child addressed in this conversation, or asked directly if he was okay.  He was then given a pacifier and the girls continued walking and having a conversation while the little boy walked behind them.

I don’t believe that this situation was handled properly at all.  First, I don’t believe that such a young child should be running so far ahead of his mother while she has a personal conversation with friends; he was left basically unattended, which led him to become injured.  After sustaining an injury, the mother did rush to his side, but failed to address him directly to see if he was okay.  “Talking about babies instead of to babies discounts them as individuals. Babies need to be part of the communication process. When you communicate with babies, it validates their self-worth. They will also have a better chance to understand what is occurring. Language provides a model for babies about how to communicate, and it serves as a vehicle to convey thoughts and feelings” (Kovach & Da Ros-Vaseles, 2011).  It is important to speak directly to young children, regardless of their age.  This young boy should have been directly addressed and asked if he was okay.  His mother should have spoken to him about running ahead of her, and why that can be dangerous.  Then, instead of speaking about his injury and the fact that what he did was “unbelievable” with her friends, she should have spoken to her child about it. 

I feel that the child could have been negatively affected by the way in which the scenario was handled.  The mother seemed to be more fascinated with the fact that the child ran into the door than she was genuinely concerned about the child’s well-being.  By not speaking directly to her child about the incident, yet speaking about it with her friends in front of him, she was not recognizing her child as an individual.  It would have been wonderful if the mother had asked her child if he was okay, or what had happened that he hurt himself.  Children have a great deal to say, and talking out his feelings could have been beneficial to the child’s self-esteem, as well as his need to get over the injury at hand.  “Repeated social encounters that are rich and spontaneous are what fosters the relationships between babies and caregivers” (Kovach & Da Ros-Vaseles, 2011).  Giving her child these experiences early on in his life will benefit him in future communication with adults in school settings, as well as social situations. 

If I could re write this scenario, many things would have been different.  First, I would have been walking with my child and my main focus would have been on his whereabouts.  If he had gotten away and ran into the door, I would have immediately ran to his side, got down on his level, and addressed him by name, asking if he was okay.  I would have told him that I was going to check his head to make sure that he didn’t hurt himself too badly; and to be sure that he wasn’t bleeding.  I also would have asked him to follow my finger to be sure that he didn’t have a concussion.  After checking to see if he was okay, I would have hugged him and given him physical comfort to reassure him that he was alright and that I cared about his well-being.  I would not have laughed with my friends about his incident and would not have spoken about it indirectly.  I then would have held his hand and continued walking with him to be sure that he was alright.  If I thought he was injured badly, I would have taken him to see a doctor.  Head injuries in young children can be serious. 

After this observation and others, I have come to realize that my way of communicating with children seems to be effective.  I believe that I make children feel that they are important and that their words and experiences are important to me.  If a child feels that their feelings are important, they will be more likely and willing to communicate them.  In addition, I believe that I speak to children, of all ages, as individuals, and that this is important to their developing identities and sense of importance.  “When you ignore babies, you tell them they are not valued.  When you do not talk to babies, they are unlikely to understand what is happening with them” (Kovach & Da Ros-Vaseles, 2011). 

I also believe that it’s important to listen to the response of young children; however, I feel that this is something that I can improve on.  Sometimes, it is difficult to understand young children, and as busy teachers, it is easy to discount their words and continue on with our day.  “Listening to children seems so simple. But when you’re fetching water to clean up the paint area, wondering where the CD has disappeared to, and waving to a mother coming in the door, trying to listen to a child following behind you can become challenging. It is easy for listening to become just one more task that a busy teacher must tend to” (Stephenson, 2009).  I would like to become a better listener for my students and let them know, that not only do I care about their well-being, but I truly care about what they are saying to me and what feelings they are trying to convey. 

References:

Kovach, B., & Da Ros-Voseles, D. (2011). Communicating with babies. YC: Young Children, 66(2), 48-50. Retrieved from the Walden Library using the Education Research Complete database. http://ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=ehh&AN=60001533&site=ehost-live&scope=site

Stephenson, A. (2009). Conversations with a 2-year-old. YC: Young Children, 64(2), 90-95. Retrieved from the Walden Library using the Education Research Complete database. http://ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=ehh&AN=37131016&site=ehost-live&scope=site