The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

                As a woman, I have experienced many incidents of prejudice, bias, and oppression in my life.  This mostly began once I started college in 2001.  As a freshman, I was excited to begin my life away from my family, friends, and hometown for the first time.  Growing up in a small town had left me completely unprepared for the hardships that I would face elsewhere.  In my town, my family was well known and respected.  I was Bob and Marilyn’s daughter; Shauna’s sister; a well-loved girl in a small community.  I had been relatively well-behaved and had never really gotten into trouble.  I was in many clubs and the Captain of my soccer team.  Going to college was going to be a new beginning for me; one I had been extremely excited about but relatively unprepared for. 

                Three weeks into my freshman year, I was sexually assaulted by a 19 year old fraternity brother.  In my opinion, rape is the greatest form of oppression a young woman can suffer.  It is an example of men literally forcing themselves on women and taking from them the one thing we all have the most control over; our body.  Suffering through this tragedy changed me in ways that I never thought anything could.  I began subjecting myself to situations that I previously would have never been a part of.  I was partying too much, and cutting my family out of my life.  I was ashamed of myself and my body and felt that because of what happened to me, I was unworthy of respect and love.  I began to let my appearance change; I darkened my hair and began dressing more provocatively.  I spent my time with people who were unhealthy and brought me to places that were scary and unsafe.  I no longer had any regard for my own well-being and felt that I was used up and dirty.          

                This boy took something away from me that I still have not fully regained ten years later.  This situation has diminished equity because it took away my ability to have a say in what goes on with my own body and who I choose to allow entrance.  In addition, it caused me years of suffering and has impacted every relationship in my life that I had then, and since.  Thinking about this incident brings up many emotions for me.  Even after ten years have gone by, I continue to feel stunted by this event.  I have yet to involve myself in a healthy relationship that is nurturing and have spent time with many men who have been unworthy of my affections. 

                In order to change this situation to bring about greater equity, I decided to speak out.  I began by attending Take Back the Night and spoke to over two hundred college students about what I had been through.  This sparked something inside of me; if I help other women who may be going through the same thing I did, what I went through would not have been for nothing.  I joined a Women’s Center through my college and involved myself in counseling young women that had suffered the tragedy of sexual assault.  After finally leaving Oswego, I was encouraged to begin telling my story to high school students in my hometown, which eventually led to me speaking out in surrounding towns.  Currently, I serve as an advocate for girls in my school who have been sexually assaulted.  I feel that by using this situation for good, I am giving back to the female community and helping to reclaim equity.  I want to encourage more women to speak up about the injustices and oppression they suffer so that our voices are heard and our pain is seen.  When recently speaking with a young girl who has just been raped I told her, “As hard as it is, the more you tell your story, the less it will own you.”