Disciplining and Difficulties

Of all the tasks I do daily while teaching, disciplining my students is the most difficult.  There are sensitive kids who take things personally.  There are children who simply shut down and will not speak.  Then there are kids who laugh, children who cry, and others who lash out.  It is important to learn about each child before you are able to discipline them well without upsetting their entire day.

I do my best to conduct conversations with my students.  I let them know that their behavior was not acceptable and ask them what we can do differently to make our classroom a more peaceful place for everyone.  I kneel down to their level and speak softly and kindly; or firmly if needed.  I do not yell.  I don't believe that yelling is effective; it frightens rather than enlightens.

I have one student who is very self-deprecating when disciplined.  He blames himself for everything and worries often if other children are upset with him.  He craves attention and lights up when he is complimented or appreciated.  It's children like this that make me wonder how their self worth became so damaged so young.

I have worked in tough neighborhoods with older children and have dealt with their problems and their poor self-images.  When I came to this affluent community, I did not expect to work with children who struggled in their home lives.  It all appears to be so cookie-cutter; so perfect.  But it's here, in preschool, that you observe where a child's self-image develops.  It's in this part of the child's life where intervention is most effective.

My question is; how?  How do I discipline a child that I know is hurting inside and doesn't even understand why?  How do I speak to him about highly inappropriate behavior when I sympathize with his reasons for his behavior?  How do I help this child so he can become the fantastic person I see when I look at him?