Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

                “People watching” has always been one of my favorite pastimes.  After a long day at work, when I first began teaching, I used to go to the big mall that was located in my city and just sit and watch people walk by.  I’d hear little snippets of conversation between mothers and children, arguments between boyfriends and girlfriends, and juicy gossip between high school girls.  It wasn’t about being nosey, it was refreshing to step out of my own existence and enjoy listening to others. 

                Every so often, I would hear a conversation that was upsetting in one way or another.  One day, shortly after Obama had been elected president, I was sitting in that mall and watching a group of old men talk and have lunch.  I was sitting close to them, reading a book, and they had acknowledged that I was there and had smiled at me.  At the same moment, one of my students spotted me and walked over with his mother to say hi.  He was in third grade and black, and was wearing a t-shirt that had a picture of Obama on it.  The caption read; “I’m next.”  He gave me a big hug and I greeted his mother and him, then held him at arm’s length and complimented him on his shirt.  He beamed from ear to ear and the mother gushed about how amazing it was to watch Obama’s inauguration.  When they walked away, I went back to reading my book. 

                As I was reading, I heard one of the old men say, “Can you believe that?  Now they all think they can be president!”  Another responded with, “They won’t be smiling when someone assassinates the nigger.”  It must have been at that moment that they noticed me staring at them with my mouth hanging open.  The four men that had previously smiled at me all glared and turned their backs to me.  I grabbed my things and walked away.  I didn’t know what to say.  This was an example of a microassault.  It was intentional and meant to harm whoever could hear it.  

                It disgusts me that people are still capable of generalizing black people, as well as using that horrible word to degrade them as a group.  I have never thought myself different from or better than the black population in our country.  I proudly voted for Obama because he was the best candidate at the time; I didn’t care if he was purple with yellow polka dots.  However, it is not only the black population in our country that experiences racism.  Being a staff member in a school that is more than 90% black has made me a minority for the first time in my life. 

                Over the last few weeks, I have had a student teacher working with me in my classroom.  Her father is white and her mother is black.  She is a smart, pretty, young girl who attends a private University and works hard.  I had hoped she would be able to relate with my student body on many levels; she is near their age and she is black.  However, my students began to reject her from the moment she entered my room.  It began with sexual comments from the boys; which led the girls to resent her.  It later led to the girls constantly telling her how “white” she is.  They said she was “so white” because she attended a private university and because she’s a cheerleader.  They also used that against her because she’s smart and she can’t dance.  I spoke with a few of my female students about their microinsults and how they could be negatively affecting my student teacher.  One of them responded; “Miss Douglass, she isn’t like us.  She IS white.”  I was baffled at the fact that she was continuing the very stereotypes that so many black people in our country have fought against.  She was calling her “white” like it was a bad thing to be, and her reasoning was that she was smart, talented, and attended a university.  As if this was something that only white people could accomplish. 

                I am often speaking to my students about their stereotypes toward white people, and am very candid with them about the stereotypes that I was exposed to growing up.  I want them to see that just because someone was taught one thing, does not mean that that is what they have to believe and practice in their adult life. 

                Stereotypes, racism, and discrimination will always exist.  I have learned that the only thing I can do is to be the best person I can be and to teach my students that they should do the same.  I always tell them that they don’t need to like everyone; they simply need to be tolerant and respectful.  Everyone is a person, and everyone is entitled to being who they are.  A saying I have always disliked is, “I don’t see color.”  Of course you see color.  Everyone sees color; and to pretend that it is not there is disrespectful to the individual.  It doesn’t matter if you were raised to believe that interracial marriages are wrong, or that all white people are rich.  What matters is that we learn to challenge those biases by getting to know people from different cultures and ethnicities, and we learn to appreciate our differences and celebrate the fact that we are all on this earth together. 

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

How do we define culture and diversity?

I chose to interview four people for this assignment.  The first was one of my students; an African American male in his early 20’s.  The second was a good friend of mine from college; a white female attending graduate school, pursuing a degree in Women’s Studies.  The third is one of my professional colleagues; a white female who teaches a very diverse population of students.  And the final person I interviewed was my sister.

Their definition of culture

1- “A way of life; the frame of mind you were raised in and the traditions you follow.” 

2- “It’s like a laundry list; language and food, history and our social understanding of the world.  It’s definitely influenced by history and politics.”

3- “I guess it’s the connotations of what a specific group of people have; the group could be a family, or people from the same area, or people who consider themselves a group.  Culture is what they do, how they act, etc. “

4- “Culture is an awareness of other ways of life.  If you “have” culture.  Culture, itself, as a noun, is a passion for your heritage.” 

Their definition of diversity

1- “Multiple cultures; like a melting pot; NYC.”

2- “Diversity…not white.  Basically like all different cultures and people together.  All the different parts that make up a whole.  Diversity is important because it helps us understand that it’s not a monolyphic culture.  There’s not just one way of seeing thing.  When you don’t have diversity, you can’t see outside of your own point of view.  Diversity helps us grow into a full person.” 

3- “Diversity is the differences in a group of people; color, race, sex, sexual orientation, etc.”

4- “I wouldn’t say that diversity has anything to do with race or gender, etc.  It’s just different ways of thinking.” 

There are many aspects of culture and diversity that I have studied over the past few weeks of this course.  It was refreshing to see that in each answer, culture was recognized as being a way of life; as something more than ethnicity and/or religion. For example, my college friend stated that culture is like a “laundry list.”  There is no one clear cut definition; it’s a compilation of things.  As one of my students stated, it includes “the frame of mind” in which we were raised.  We can have a very distinct culture without ever having been exposed to any time of religion or ethnic background.  Our culture can develop simply by the way in which our households were run, or the neighborhood we grew up in.  For example, I am Italian, but much of my culture has nothing to do with my Italian heritage.  Instead, my culture is based on how my family has chosen to raise me and spend our time together, the type of town in which I grew up, and the life my parents wanted me to have. 

Diversity, I feel, is a harder concept to understand.  My student, based on our entire conversation, seems to view diversity as more of an ethnic thing.  For example, it seems as though he believes that places such as New York City are what will help us best represent diversity.  In many ways, he is right.  Diversity is very visible in a place such as New York City.  However, I feel that diversity is also something that cannot be seen by the eye alone.  It is something that is present in a town of all white, Christian people.  There is gender diversity, religious diversity, economic and educational diversity; the list goes on. 

I feel that when combining all of the answers of those I chose to interview, no aspects of diversity and culture that we studied over the last few weeks have been omitted.  There was mention of family culture and group culture, which I feel includes dominant culture.  In addition, the definitions of diversity also were inclusive of all that we have discussed and read about; including both diversity that is easily seen and aspects of diversity that are invisible to the naked eye. 

                It has been interesting to hear of other people’s interpretations of culture and diversity.  I tried to choose a diverse population of people in my life in order to gain a broader perspective.  I believe that it emulates our diversity by the variety of responses that each person gave.  Each response is also reflective on whom that person is, their education, profession, and how they were raised.  Their definitions have not influenced my own.  I feel that the ways in which we interpret diversity and culture simply add to our unique culture and diversity.  I am interested to see what others have come to find through asking these questions to the people in their lives.    

My Family Culture

A major catastrophe has almost completely devastated the infrastructure of your country. The emergency government has decided that the surviving citizens will be best served if they are evacuated to other countries willing to take refugees. You and your immediate family are among the survivors of this catastrophic event. However, you have absolutely no input into the final destination or in any other evacuation details. You are told that your host country’s culture is completely different from your own, and that you might have to stay there permanently. You are further told that, in addition to one change of clothes, you can only take 3 small items with you. You decide to take three items that you hold dear and that represent your family culture.

If I had to leave my country and culture to go to a place very different from “home,” I would want to have a few things with me that reminded me of where I was raised and who I am.  After much thought about my family culture and social identity, and what I would want to take with me, I have chosen three items that I would not leave behind.   I would take a small photo album of family Christmas parties that my grandmother keeps with pictures of my entire extended family throughout the years; my stuffed animal that my parents gave me when I was four and had my tonsils out; and a cd of my father singing and playing guitar.

Christmas, in my family, is a big event.  Yes, there are presents, (and a lot of them in my crazy family), and there’s traveling and headaches.  But, every year when my entire family sits down to eat, all of that goes away.  It’s always been the one day of the year when everyone is smiling, telling stories, and sharing time together.  All of my favorite memories of my extended family during my childhood are at Christmastime.  I would want to keep those with me to remind me of the warmth we all share when we’re all together, and how lucky I have been to share so many holidays with the people I love. 

The second item I would be bringing is my stuffed beagle that my parents bought for me when I was four and had my tonsils out.  I had such a strong attachment to it as a child that my mother used to buy him t-shirts when we went on vacation and for Christmas every year.  I would want to bring it with me because it’s been a part of every big moment of my life.  As a child, I held it every time I cried and each time that I was sick.  It went on vacations with us and was in my purse when I went off to college.  It’s comforted me through lonely days and always makes me think of home.  It may just seem like a material item to many, but when I look at it, I see my life go by in moments. 

Lastly, I would want to bring a cd of my father playing the guitar and singing.  Every favorite memory I have with my immediate family revolves around my father’s guitar.  As a child, we would take out dress up clothes and my dad would sing silly songs while my mother, sister, and I would dress up and dance around the living room.  During family parties, my father would take out his guitar and people would crowd around and sing along with my family.  My father and I would sing in talent shows and Christmas pageants.  When I was 17, he taught me to play and encouraged me to perform.  In college, we would perform at a local open-mic together and my mother and sister would come watch; our biggest fans.  During that time, I would fall asleep to the sound of my dad playing Beatles songs over and over again in the room next to mine.  I have memories of my mom and dad singing to one another, and memories of my sister and I “tiptoeing through tulips” around the kitchen table.  Those are memories that represent my family culture to me in the fullest, and ones I hope I never have to lose. 

If upon arrival, I was told I could only keep one of the items I brought with me, it would be difficult to separate myself from the others, but the choice would be clear; I would bring my father’s cd.  The memories that come along with the other items are beautiful and would be greatly missed, but the moments I shared with my family through music represent much more to me.  Much of our interfamily culture has revolved around music and performance.  I feel that the most difficult item to let go of, however, would be my stuffed animal.  Although it’s a material item, I feel that it carries much of my family and personal history and I would be very sad to part with it. 

After completing this assignment, I thought about my family culture, diversity, and/or cultural differences.  I have come to the conclusion that, although my family does not have very distinct cultural celebrations and differences, we have developed our own special culture as a family.  We have unique traditions and memories that I truly believe many people do not have in their life.  I’ve had many friends spend time with my family and marvel at the idea of a nuclear family that stays together and loves one another, even though we have all grown into such unique individuals.  It is not our ethnicity or differences that define a family culture, it’s the moments that we share together in happiness and laughter that make us special.  And every evening, even as an adult, that my father pulls out his guitar to play is a night that sticks in my memory and makes me feel closest to my family.