Week Four: Violence and Children

Thinking about children experiencing hardships is a difficult task.  However, when studying child development, it is important to consider all the stressors that may effect the child's biosocial, cognitive, and psychosocial progression.  It is sad to say, that when thinking about what, or who, to write about on this topic, I was able to think of many people in my life that have suffered through violence as a child.  I, fortunately, was not a child that was affected by violence at a young age.  I have a few friends that were not as lucky as I.

A friend of mine was sexually abused as a child by a relative.  This, to me, is the unthinkable.  Having lived such a blessed and happy childhood, it is hard for me to comprehend the ramifications a child will suffer due to this type of violence.  As an individual outside of the situation, I was horrified to learn this about my friend's past, and thoroughly impressed by her strength and ability to be a positive contributor to society, regardless of what she had to suffer.  She is a strong, confident woman who is a fantastic mother, sister, daughter, and friend.  Knowing her, you would never guess that at one point in her life, she was tortured by such maltreatment.  My friend never received therapy or sought outside help.  She made it through on the support of her mother and has continued to stay a survivor through the support of her friends and family.  I feel she finds comfort in having loved ones who know her story and respect and love her, and does not feel the need to discuss it now that she is older.

"Maltreatment is neither rare nor sudden, and the perpetrators are usually well known to the child.  in face, for young children, one or both of the child's own parents are most likely to be the abusers.  That makes the situation much worse: Ongoing maltreatment, with no safe haven, is much more damaging to children than is a single brief incident, however injurious."  (Berger, 2009)  Because my friend's abuse was continuous and spread out over years, her reaction to the abuse as a child was more severe.  Continuous abuse can cause children to become "fearful, startled by noise, defensive and quick to attack, and confused between fantasy and reality."  (Berger, 2009)  Through the support of her mother, she was able to make it through and become a much stronger person today.  However, this makes me think about what would have happened to her had it not been for the unwavering love and support of her mother.  Would she be the person she is today had she gone through it alone?

To answer my own question, I conducted research on abused orphans in Romania.  I was appalled to see how young children that have nowhere to turn and no one to call home were treated on a regular basis by the institution that is supposed to be helping them and supporting them.  "The children were confined to their cribs most of the time, the report states. Some of the older ones rocked back and forth, banging their heads or "making the rhythmic sounds from dislocated jaws common in children left lying down for extended periods," the report said." (Smith, 2006)    Children in this orphanage were also found bound and tied in sheets so tightly, that their skin came off when they were removed.  The biosocial, cognitive, and psychosocial developmental damage that is done due to this type of neglect and abuse is extensive.  


The long term effects can severely impact a child's social skills.  For example, the child may "typically regard other people as hostile and exploitative; hence, they are less friendly, more aggressive, and more isolated than other children.  The longer their abuse continues, and the earlier it started, the worse their peer relationships are."  (Berger, 2009)  This abuse will also effect the child's abilities to regulate their emotions.  "Early neglect and abuse cause internalizing or externalizing problems that are more sever than does maltreatment that begins later in childhood." (Berger, 2009)  This will effect a child's ability to form positive relationships as well as the prevent them from obtaining the tools necessary to face the challenges that life presents them in a healthy and productive way.  


To counteract the tragedies these children have suffered, the Romanian government has reopened overseas adoption.  This way, children are leaving orphanages, instead of staying in overpopulated and sub par conditions.  I hope that this change will help to diminish the violence that has occurred in these orphanages over the years.  Violence is a horrible thing to suffer through at any age; it is especially difficult to overcome such travesties during childhood.  


Resources:
Berger, K. S. (2009). The developing person through childhood (5th ed.). New York, NY: Worth Publishers.

Graham, B. (2006, September 24). Romania's orphans claim years of abuse. The Sunday Times.

Smith, C. S. (2006, May 10). Romania's Orphans Face Widespread Abuse, Group Says. The New York Times.

http://www.internationaladoptionguide.co.uk/genericPage.jsp?genericPageValue=Adoption%20Options

The Benefit of the Doubt

My students are often on my mind.  I wonder how they're doing or if they are happy, healthy, and safe.  I look at them and marvel at their individuality and their happy dispositions; how they become excited over moments others find mundane or insignificant.  I hope for them and pray for them.  I want them all to grow to be the best people they can be; an extension of the little people they already are.

Every so often, something happens in my life outside of work; something unfair or sad, or very "adult-like."  I find that in these moments, my student's faces flash in my mind.  I wonder if they'll be subject to the unfair, and sometimes cruel aspects of life that cause us to struggle.  I experienced this over the weekend after receiving some particularly tragic news.

After thinking of my students, and hoping that nothing so sad ever enters their rosy existence, I wondered how I will feel when I have children of my own.  My boss told me the other day that "being a parent is scary."  I reflected on this statement for a while.  Yes, I love my students and I think they are all wonderful; but my care and affection for them is but a pebble in comparison to the mountain of love their parents provide.

I sometimes find myself questioning the parenting methods used with my students.  It is easy for me to be skeptical and overly critical of them, without having children of my own.  The simple statement, "being a parent is scary," along with the tragedy that occurred in the life of a close friend of mine, allowed me to put into perspective the daily dealings of in a relationship between parent and child.

Every parent in my school, (thankfully), is trying their hardest to provide their children with a loving and stable environment.  Sometimes, children are terrifying; the hardships you hope they never endure, the people you hope never hurt them, the friends you pray will stick by their side, and the tragedies you hope will never befall them.  I hope and pray for my students daily, and the care and affection I have for them is substantial in their little lives.  However, I understand that I will never know that pure, undying, and sometimes scary love that parents have for their children, until I'm blessed with one of my own.

Week Two: Breastfeeding in Other Cultures

I chose to discuss breastfeeding in other cultures for my blog topic this week.  I feel, as a teacher and someone who would very much like to have children of my own, it is important to know how breastfeeding is experienced within our own culture, as well as in others.  I was able to find an article that discussed breastfeeding, that attachment that forms, and how other cultures experience it.

In most Western countries, breastfeeding is discouraged in many ways.  During the first thirty minutes following birth, the sucking reflex of an infant is at its strongest.  Most Western doctors separate infants from their mothers during this time for many reasons.  This separation can disrupt the process of breastfeeding and the attachment benefits that follow.  In addition to this initial separation, breastfeeding is widely unaccepted in public and the workplace, which does not allow mothers to share the bonding time that breastfeeding allows them.  

In non-Western countries, mothers will breastfeed their children throughout the day and night, without supplementing their milk with artificial milk, or that from another species; unlike Western culture.  This is believed to be because children are expected to be independent at a young age in Western culture, whereas they are thought to be "naturally dependent" in non-Western culture.

I discovered a website that provided a discussion board for Africans to post their experiences with breastfeeding.  In Kenya, Africa, breastfeeding is considered "normal" and is often done publicly.  A woman who does not breastfeed is "frowned upon" for depriving her child of that bond as well as from the nutritional benefits.  According to the website, many countries in Africa promote breastfeeding as the number one source of nutrition for their infants.  They see this as a privilege; a time to bond with your baby and assist them in healthy development.  There have been studies done that show that breastfeeding is beneficial not only to health, but to brain development as well.  Babies that are breastfed generally have a higher IQ.

I found it interesting to read about how acceptable it is for women to breastfeed in public in other countries.  It seems that Western culture has deemed breasts as merely sexual in nature; their function is so much greater.  Learning more about this topic has opened my eyes to the importance of breastfeeding, as well as to develop a greater understanding of women who choose to breastfeed in public.  These women are not putting on a sexual display meant to be distracting, they are merely trying to feed their babies and bond with them.

I feel that this newly acquired information will help me to better understand my students who struggle with developmental needs and attachment issues.  This may be a direct result of breastfeeding, or lack there of.  I wonder if this is information that should be given to childcare providers?  One thing is for sure, this information has impacted how I will feed my future children.

References:

http://www.attachmentacrosscultures.org/beliefs/bfeed_culture.pdf

http://www.007b.com/public-breastfeeding-world.php

Week One: My Birthing Experience

I don't have any children of my own, and have never been overly involved in a birthing process.  I have helped friends through pregnancies, and have worked co-taught with pregnant women, but I've never actually seen a birth.  Therefore, the only firsthand experience I have with the birthing process is my own birth.  I spoke with my mother to find out what it was like for her.  When I asked her how long she was in labor with me, she responded, "I don't know, seven years?!"  This put into perspective just how hard it must be.  I know that everyone always says how painful it is, but my mother is a strong woman, and it must have been awful for her to remember it so clearly after 27 years.  However, in actuality, she was in labor with me for eight hours.  I was born in a hospital, under the care of a doctor and nurse.  My mother sat up through her delivery; she said that she didn't when my older sister was born and she wanted to be able to see me come into the world.  She received an epidural.  I was told that my entire head came out and then my parents heard a loud crack; my mother had broken her tail bone.  My mother is a small woman; five feet, one inch and was 97 pounds when she became pregnant.  I was sixteen inches long and nearly ten pounds at birth.  In addition to her broken tail bone, my vocal chords had been bruised in the birth canal.  My mother held me for forty-five minutes before the nurses took me for my first bath.  My mom was in the hospital with me for four days; my father came to hold me every night and my sister and grandmother visited every day.

I feel that my birth was a typical birth in American culture.  When researching other cultures and how the birthing process is there, I found that many people experience the beginning of life very differently than I do.  The country whose birthing process I found most interesting was Tibet.  Tibetan culture is rich in ritual, and this is the same for the when a woman gives birth.  There are seven stages of childbirth; preconception, conception, gestation, birth, after the birth, bonding, and infancy.  During the actual birth, there are mantras recited hundreds of times by the father, and he helps when needed, although the birth is conducted by a midwife.  The father and other elders bless a pad of llama butter, and the mother can eat it to help ease the pain of labor.  If labor is particularly hard, the mother will eat a piece of dried fish from a sacred lake in Tibet. The fish "brings blessings and spiritual grace to the woman who takes it, and so eases her mind and helps her relax, allowing the baby to come sooner."  The midwife may also give the mother "traditional herbal preparation" to help the baby when the contractions are close together.  


It was interesting to read about the way in which a baby is brought into the world in a different culture.  My mother gave birth with the assistance of medical professionals and with the help of an epidural to ease the pain.  Whereas, women in Tibet believe that butter that is blessed will help to ease their pain, because it will remind them of a rich comfort food and will relax their mind.  I feel that by speaking with my mother and researching the birthing process of another culture, I have gained a better understanding.  Giving birth is an individual experience.  Even though culture influences us in how we chose to bear our children, the actual birth is the mother and child's and is an intimate and miraculous experience that only the mother will ever really know and understand.  Regardless of rituals and cultural influence, childbirth is a difficult yet amazing experience that effects both mother and child.


Resources:
http://www.context.org/ICLIB/IC31/Farwell.htm

Patience is a Virtue

When speaking of my job with those outside the field of education, a typical response I receive is, "Wow, you must have a lot of patience!"  I usually smile and say, "Well, I love it!  Patience is part of my job."  Usually, it comes easy to me.  When I feel myself being pushed by a child or a situation while at school, I am able to calm myself and react in a loving and mature way.  However, I am finding this year that my patience is being tested.  

Having a child in the classroom with severely disruptive behavioral patterns can be detrimental to the learning of other students.  My initial reaction, given my personality, is to focus on that child; try to find ways to improve behavior and that child's ability to learn and have a good day at school.  Today, I set out to make observations of this child throughout my entire school day.  After five hours, I had two pages of documented notes of disruptive, and sometimes, dangerous behavior; and this was a good day.  

After reviewing my notes and seeing the kind of time and effort my co-teacher and I devote to this child every day, it put in perspective the amount of time this child was taking away from my other students.  I began to think about all the moments I must blow through with other children to focus on this one child.  I wonder if they can feel the absence or notice that my attention is focused on him, rather than the collective group.  

I felt my patience slip today.  I noticed that I was not speaking in my normal tone; that I was not allowing myself moments to breathe and enjoy my students as I usually do.  I am seeking additional services for this students, but it's going to be a long road.  I suppose what I'm looking for here is advice.  How do I give this child the support he needs without sacrificing the needs of fifteen other students?

A Meaningful Poem

My staff had a professional development day today, and we were given this poem.  I thought it was really meaningful and validated what we do every day.  I wanted to share it.

Just Playing
When I'm building in the block room,
Please don't say I'm "Just Playing."
For, you see, I'm learning as I play;
About balance and shapes.
When I'm getting all dressed up,
Setting the table, caring for the babies,
Don't get the idea I'm "Just Playing."
For, you see, I'm learning as I play;
I may be a mother or a father someday.
 When you see me up to my elbows in paint,
Or standing at an easel, or molding and shaping clay,
Please don't let me hear you say, "He is Just Playing."
For, you see, I'm learning as I play.
I'm expressing myself and being creative.
I may be an artist or an inventor someday.
 When you see me sitting in a chair
"Reading" to an imaginary audience,
Please don't laugh and think I'm "Just Playing."
For, you see, I'm learning as I play.
I may be a teacher someday.
 When you see me combing the bushes for bugs,
Or packing my pockets with choice things I find,
Don't pass it off as "Just Play."
For, you see, I'm learning as I play.
I may be a scientist someday.
 When you see me engrossed in a puzzle,
Or some 'plaything' at my school,
Please don't feel the time is wasted in "Play."
For, you see, I'm learning as I play.
I'm learning to solve problems and concentrate.
I may be in business someday.
 When you see me cooking or tasting foods,
Please don't think that because I enjoy it, it is "Just Play."
I'm learning to follow directions and see differences.
I may be a chef someday.
 When you see me learning to skip, hop, run, and move my body,
Please don't say I'm "Just Playing."
For, you see, I'm learning as I play.
I'm learning how my body works.
I may be a doctor, nurse or athlete someday.
 When you ask me what I've done at school today,
And I say, "I Just Played."
Please don't misunderstand me.
For, you see, I'm learning as I play.
I'm learning to enjoy and be successful in my work.
I'm preparing for tomorrow.
Today, I'm a child and my work is play.